Living with doubts
I generally seem like a very happy person. People who know me would probably describe me as such, which is why it always comes as a bit of a surprise when they find out that I struggle with my own personal happiness.
What they don’t realize is that struggling with mental health doesn’t always mean that you crawl into a hole for months at a time (even though it may), but it could also mean that there’s constant or occasional internal doubt around your happiness. This doubt falls on the spectrum of mental health, the same spectrum that we all live on, but to varying degrees.
For some, it means that even when you’re “happy” you’re not sure if you’re entirely happy. Even in your happiest moments, there are lingering doubts about whether this is what happiness is supposed to truly feel like. And then there are the times when you’re not in your happiest moments, and in those moments, those doubts aren’t lingering, but all engulfing.
Inspired by my friend Erik Torenberg’s post, I created this list because I realize not everybody seeks out help. And while I myself have only occasionally reached out for the more formalized forms of mental healthcare, I’ve often found myself turning to things like Your Voice by Whisper and To Write Love on Her Arms for a little bit of reassurance in some of my more doubtful times.
While the resources on this list have already been helpful to me, they have the potential to be helpful to many more. Their existence is there to appease these doubts, not necessarily to eliminate them, but to live with them and to realize we aren’t alone in doing so. While these doubts often seem isolating, I’m not the only one who has them, so it’s worth it to start talking about them.
Special thanks to Erik Torenberg, Eric Wolfe, Justin Ip, Glen Moriarity, and Ali Hamed — shout out to his great post on this last year— for inspiring and helping with this piece.